Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
