This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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