Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
