home. puking in laundry basket.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
