i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
