so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
