well I can't set my house on fire every night
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
