Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Randomize
