I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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