I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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