This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
