Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
