I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
