Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
