I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
the raccoons are back...
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