The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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