dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
my shit smells like andre
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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