So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
