he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Sorry about my life...
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
