grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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