Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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