the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
