i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
