mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
