If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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