Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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