Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
