M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Duck Duck Cougar?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
