Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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