Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
