I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I just found puke in my bra..
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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