Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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