I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
