I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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