What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
wow bdsm is so cute
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