oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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