Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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