Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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