i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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