What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
