What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
