Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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