dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
