Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
