this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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