and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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