well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
accomplished twins. life is a go
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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