The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
