Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
When did angry sex become our thing?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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