cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
