Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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