when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
