Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
