god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
