no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
