Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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