you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
