threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
